Escaping to the wild: but is it fair on the kids?

There is a program on television in the UK at the moment called Escape to the Wild. In each episode, the presenter Kevin McCLoud visits a different British family who have chosen to leave the rat race behind and set up home in a wonderfully wild and remote part of the world. So far, we have seen the von Engelbrechten’s on a beautiful island in Tonga, and the Pickerings living in the shadow of a volcano in Chile (there has also been an episode in Belize but I haven’t caught it yet). It all looks amazing, idyllic almost.

But is it? Both times while watching – and I know many of my friends were thinking the same thing – all I could focus on was the children.

The first family, the ones on the island in Tonga, were home-schooling their three boys. The seemed like a lovely family and the boys appeared exceptionally well-behaved, happy and surprisingly normal. This could, of course, be all down to the editing; but there didn’t seem to be any major problems in the way they were being brought up. Although the oldest boy (by now a teenager) had decided to give boarding school in New Zealand a go. He’s probably hoping to meet a girl.

3858190727_da0c47952c_o

There was no mention in the documentary of how the second family were educating their children, beyond the no-doubt fantastic education they were getting living in a new and fascinating country and helping their parents build a house out of earth and kill wild boars. The children were definitely school-age so I am sure the parents did have this planned out – there were other people living in their neighbourhood (unlike the von Engelbrechten’s in the South Pacific) so perhaps the kids were due to start at the local school.

But schooling apart, I couldn’t help but wonder what sort of a future these children had. Yes, it looked idyllic. And yes, the parents who had escaped from their stressful lives in London or Wiltshire kept telling us how amazing it was (and the views were, truly, magnificent). But children need more than beautiful views, sparkling seas and erupting volcanoes.

Socialising with others is such an important part of childhood. All of these children were aged between about seven and thirteen, exactly the sort of age that children learn how to make (and keep) friends, about bonding, about relationships with people outside of their immediate family. These children only appeared to have each other to do this with – and, as we all know, a relationship with a sibling is a very different thing that with a friend. You can more or less say what you want to your brother or sister and they will still stick by you. The same certainly can’t be said of friends.

6157276783_63c1a0a699_z

There is no way of knowing of course what the future holds for these particular children and, chances are, they will be fine. They seemed to have eminently sensible parents who were able to give them a lot more attention than many of their contemporaries were likely to be getting back in Blighty.

But I still worry about children whose parents take them away from all that they know and love because they, the parents, are fed up with a certain life-style. More and more I am reading about families who give up everything and move to very remote and isolated parts of the world with their children – and I don’t mean people who are doing it for a year or so, I mean people who see it as a permanent thing. People who think it will be easy to educate their children themselves, and people who haven’t really thought through the implications of what happens to those children when they reach a certain age.

As well as anything else, what if those children decide at some point they don’t want to live like this? And what if, in the future, they want to go to university in their home country – but haven’t got the necessary qualifications. Of course there are good schools everywhere – local and international – but a lot of people are purposefully choosing more remote areas to live and work (now that technology has allowed them to do so), places where schools like this simply don’t exist. And, as in the two families in Escape to the Wild, there don’t seem to be any other children.

I am very open to hearing more about this, as I will admit I don’t know a lot about this sort of lifestyle. I recently decided to leave a Facebook forum because of a discussion around moving abroad with children which didn’t seem to consider the needs of those children at all. It felt very much like the parent wanted to do something for herself, and the children were just going to have to come with her. I might have been totally wrong but I could feel my frustration at this person and decided better to back out than say something I regretted.

So please, if you have done something like this, or are planning to, do come and tell me about it. If I am wrong, I would love to know. Or if you agree with me, I’d like to know that as well 🙂 All views are welcome here!

Beach photo courtesy of Elyse Patten; friends’ photo courtesy of David Amsler

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Escaping to the wild: but is it fair on the kids?

  1. I had just been discussing this show with friends and had the same concerns as you, it would be hard to provide the same socialization in those remote places and could adversely affect the kids later in life when they tried to re integrate with society!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m glad it’s not just me (although having spoken to a couple of friends I know they were thinking the same). I knew a couple of sisters at boarding school who had been living on a boat with their family for years until they arrived at the school in theor early teens. I recall they seemed like very calm people but I don’t think they intergrated very well.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think the children and their needs should be considered regardless of where you are moving to. In moving to Cairo this summer with my teen, she was an integral part of the decision making as she is older and I wanted to know her thoughts/opinions. If for some reason, she really dislikes it, we will make a change in plans. She is my primary concern; not myself. This may of course be more difficult when your children are younger and less mature. But with teens in particular, they should be offered the option to try it out and back out if need be.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s funny that you posted this because a few weeks ago, my husband and I watched a Ted talk about the Green School in Bali. Feeling frustrated in the Netherlands, I said, let’s go there for a year!!! We jokingly looked into it, fed up with the grind here. But realistically we wouldn’t pull the trigger for exactly the reasons you said – it’s not really fair to the kids just so that we can change our lifestyle.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bali definitely sounds tempting! However having lived in the Caribbean, I’m well aware that “paradise” ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be! Funnily enough, I’ve always thought the Netherlands would be a great place to bring up children… I guess the grass is always greener!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I have just returned from Tonga after several months on one island with a community of only Tongans. I found we have more to learn from them than we need to teach. I am a retired teacher.
    I will be returning to my Tongan family on the island 2016 to live there for several years. I will not tell other people which island because I feel some visitors may destroy this paradise on earth. I have travelled to many countries and found many places not to be as good as people expect. Places like Barbados, Bali, USA, and Europe.
    As for ex-pats with children on Tonga as long as your family becomes part of the community and treats everyone with respect and kindness and you respect their way of life you will be treated as a member of their family. Do not try to be castaway on a island you will need the help and support of the Tongan people to successfully integrate into your new life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks John, that sounds fascinating. I’d love to hear more about it if you ever wanted to come back to the blog and contribute. It sounds like you understand very well what you’re getting yourself into. Which is something I don’t think can be said for all expats 😕

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s